Accepting and Healing Painful Emotions

It feels so heavy and hard whenever something from my past comes up for me to work through, it sucks all the energy out of me. Often my first reaction is to turn away and avoid it.

But I know that this won’t make it go away and I know that every time I work on painful things from my past that my life improves. Sometimes the improvement is small, sometimes it is huge. No matter if the improvement is big all small, it is always worth it. I have seen the benefits of the work many times over. I face a hard thing that comes up, I invite it in, I sit with it and feel it and make peace with it. It is a process and it isn’t often quick, but it has given me so much freedom each time I do it.

I work on my past traumas for me, for my family, for my community. Each time we heal and change unhealthy patterns from our family line and from society, we pass on new healthy patterns to our children and their children. I know my healing is bigger than me, I want to heal so that my children do not need to suffer as I did and my ancestors did. There will of course be patterns that I pass on that are less then I would hope for my children. But more importantly I work to pass on to my children the strength to be kind to themselves when they notice unhealthy patterns in themselves. I choose to pass on to my children the wisdom to take responsibility for improving themselves so they can then pass onto their children this healthy pattern of facing hard things and transforming them into something good.

Here is an activity you can practice with something painful that comes up for you.

• Decide that you are willing to do what it takes to accept this feeling so that you no longer feel controlled by it.

• Find a quiet moment and remember an occasion when you had this uncomfortable/painful feeling, think about it until you can clearly feel/sense it in your body.

• Notice where in your body that you feel this sensation. Focus closely on the sensation, does it feel hot/cold, big/small, soft/hard?

• Allow it to be there, do not try to change it or push it away (this will only cause it to persist). Say to yourself “I can be ok with this, this feeling does not define me or this experience, it is just a feeling and I am accepting it”.

• Say to the feeling “ I accept you, I can be ok with this sensation” (when you accept it and do not fear it then it loses its power over you). Stay in this place of acceptance for a few moments. Don’t expect it to change or go away (trying to push it away will only create more resistance and struggle). You are simply changing your perception of the feeling so it no longer has a hold on you and you no longer feel controlled by it.

• Accept that you are ok with this feeling. This is where your true power is, to know that you are ok and that the feeling is ok. Comfort yourself and say something along the lines of “I am ok, I am safe and it is ok for me to have this feeling. This feeling is a result of my life experiences and it is ok. I am safe, even when I am having this feeling”. Use whatever words suit you to soothe yourself and release any shame, so you can be ok with the feeling.

Practice this daily until you feel improvement and the feeling does not bother you anymore.

True freedom is realising that your restraints in life are created from within and when you release these inner restraints, you find true freedom and loving empowerment.

This is just one of many tools that you can use to release traumas from the past.

Through my healing sessions I support my clients to find the tools that work best for them.

My life has transformed in so many wonderful ways since I began doing this work, I am now living a life beyond my wildest dreams. I am doing so many things that I never thought I would be able to do. Supporting women to find their own inner empowerment is my passion in life.

I feel blessed and happy with my life. I wish this for everyone.

Danielle xx